The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
