i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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