The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
