Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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