Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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