why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Found the puke drawer
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have tasted many bathrooms
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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