it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Alive.
So much puke
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
