We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize