So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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