Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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