HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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