remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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