bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We have so much sex to catch up on
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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