dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
