My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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