Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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