Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
COCAINE IS GR8
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
