I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
