People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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