Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
