No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
