I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
