Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Randomize
