that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
