I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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