Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
