i permit you to call me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
