I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
