Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
