But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
