I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
