I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
