I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
