I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We need to get me chipped asap
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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