Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize