Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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