Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
