I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We have started to decorate penises.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
