i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
