fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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