sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
