You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
