Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Screwed.edu
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
