I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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