why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
