I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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