All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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