dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dicks are not precious.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
