my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
