So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
