it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
