She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
