I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I would ride that face into the sunset
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
