Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
